So, this will be fun. *she tells herself*
Friday, we went to the gynecologist because D is still having some belly issues and was looking poochy in the tummy. Yes, I had asked if she had had ANY sexual encounters with her boyfriend that could have left her vulnerable to pregnancy… she continued to insist that they were using protection. So, I figured if there is a cyst or somethig else going on we need to get to the bottom of it.
I wonder which would have been the better discovery… a cyst, or a pregnancy. We got pregnancy. If you’ve read any of the rest of this blog you know that D has had lots of issues over the last few years. The latest wrinkle is that I think she has Asperger’s. Great to feel like we’re getting to the bottom of her challenges with her peers, but now we’re handed this… this is not a wrinkle. This is, oh I don’t know… like the entire garment has been torn in half and run over by a stampede of bison?
Her first reaction was to cry, of course. I patted her back and hugged her and told her it would be okay. That’s just all I could do, right?? She was really nervous about telling her dad, because he’s historically been very critical and judgemental. He tends to say things without thinking. So, when she told him he said “Idiot.” and that was about it. Nice… great support dad. Next, we had to tell my hubby – her step-dad. I wasn’t worried about yelling or profanity from him, but my beloved is a planner, and when things come up that disturb his idea of what we were planning things can get a bit stressful. Thankfully, he’s been just as amazing as I thought he was.
So, D and hubby and I had a talk about staying focused on graduating from high school in May, and we’ve told her that there will be some time after graduation to talk about her options and what will be expected of the boyfriend, etc… right now they are just trying to deal with the shock together. I’m VERY glad that she’s dating the guy she is. She has brought home some real losers over the last few years, but J is being very supportive and has even apologized to me for making “a big mistake”. Whether or not they decide to keep the baby or put it up for adoption, and whether or not they stay together as a couple, I am pretty comfortable that he’s going to be supportive. He hasn’t told his parents yet though… so we’ll see how that goes.
Anyway, what can you do? You have to be supportive of your child – at least that’s my feeling – and being angry or reminding them of the mistake they’ve made (as if they aren’t aware) is just not constructive. We’ll just take it one day at a time and see how it goes. The first priority is just getting her graduated – for her and for the baby, that’s the most important thing right this minute. That, and figuring out what my grandma name should be…
